I'm gonna randomly say something for today. I love playing games with friends, I had a little hope that I might see him but he didn't show up which is fine as well. Because I might get a bit jealous when his attention is not on me completely. I noticed that, maybe I'm not ready yet and that's why this was arranged this way.
anyways I had fun with friends, we played doubla which super easy and exciting. it really feels like childhood again and my mood was totally lift up haha. I feel invincible, very happy. Life is supposed to be like this, having fun and enjoy every moment, hanging out with friends, playing games. doing anything that you enjoy.
I'm not worried, I feel pure happiness. I'm loving it.
I bought a course for Hai, but without name on it, I told Valeria so maybe she is going to mention my name when Hai is doing that class. I actually don't know why I'm doing this, but it made me feel safe and calm. ok. Actions are sometimes reflecting that I'm not totally peaceful with no actions - so need a little bit more practice in meditation or witnessing myself.
It's a learning process and I'm enjoying every bit of it.
I know every moment is the best miracle that I can have ,I feel lucky, I appreciate . and I know myself is keeping me safe around, because we are blessed by the nature by the universe, by myself,by the god, by the budha.
There are some thoughts about the past, when he said i didn't pay the bill, he said I didn't communicate with his parents well, he was angry at me because I didn't arrange things well. I feel, a bit tired thinking those thoughts, a bit worried that I wasn't liked.
I'm not what I've done, I'm not only the past, I'm not the thoughts, I'm not the ememotion
I observe it, I witness it, I see it come and go through me.
I feel safe, only this moment matters. I'm letting the past go, I learned the lesson alredy
I learned to be honest, to be calm, to be loving, because that's the nature in me.
there's no need to endure on those thoughts. if they are appearing, it's fine too.
Just let it come and let it go. You are already perfect in each moment, you are a miracle.
You can't undo the past and you don't have to because you see you are whole in yourself. You are not defined by the past experience, you are not the experience. You are loved, blessed by him, by the ppl you meet, by the nature, by the tree. You are connected with him, with everything in the world.
You know you are connected with him, he loves you, you love him, you love others, others love you. No matter what he does. no matter what he thinks, no matter how time flies, you know he loves you the same as before, now, and going forward. And you feel the same for him.
you even feel the same for everyone else, because we are deeply connected, we are the same.
I love you, I'm inhaling your pain, your sorrow, your loneliness when you don't get the one you want, when you haven't realized the dream, when you feel upset because things are not going well, I'm exhaling peace, calm, pure positive energy on you, wish you peaceful and happy every moment.
I'm inhaling your confusion because I wasn't contacting you, I ran away when you approached me. I'm exhaling clarity on you that I always love you and care about you no matter what. I'm always here for you when you need me.
我是观世音菩萨，我甘愿替你受苦，我愿替你承担，我愿赐你解脱，我愿降福祉于你和你家人和你所有在乎的人。我愿下地狱，地狱对我来说也没有区别。慈悲为怀。
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