I am chickened down

So many times I got nervous when I deal with the matter of giving public speechs,not only for speech but some small activities in class.I hate myself being so afraid of it.I just couldn't control the nature of a coward.

I never tried my best to make it possible to being stand in front of others for the majority of my life.

I have seen some of my classmates who seem not very good at speaking broke the confined boundaries to speak in English. Why I am so afraid of being in the place,just saying something for myself instead others.

I have prepared for that moment for a whole holiday but the fact is that,my mentality is never supposed to be calm and chill enough to do that thing.

I am not having to cheat myself for the chickened moment.

I must do it practically not talking in paper.

Mark it!